Emo, I Salute You!

I have decided to dedicate this blog entry to the one, the only, Eric "Emo" Morse! Emo is apparently the only person who currently reads my blog. So hooray Emo and if someone else just happens to wander into this neck of the cyberspace woods check out Emo's blog @ http://www.iowafilmnerd.blogspot.com/. Once again, hooray Emo, my sole reader!

Readership

I am trying to come up with an approximate number as far as my readership for this delightful blog goes. So if you read this on a regular basis or just from time to time, leave a comment, send me an email or instant message, just tell me if you actually read it.

Swift Punch In The Balls

Hilarious video, I highly reccomend watching this!

http://videobomb.com/posts/show/555

Anti-Cheer

For those of you who have had the distinct displeasure of seeing the movie "Bring It On," I have redone the words to the opening scene; I believe it is an improvement. I actually handed this out to every cheerleader in my high school my junior year, needless to say the administration did not approve but it was well worth it. Enjoy!

I’m bitchy/ I’m lewd/ I’m very, very rude

I’m obsessed/ with my hair

I’m not down with underwear

I’m wanted/ for pot

I’m as dumb as a rock

I’m prissy/ I drool

But really I’m a fool

Who are we?

Just guess

We like to stuff our chests

We’re stupid/ We Smile

Because we’re in denial

I’m smart/ uhh not

Even my mom thinks I’m a slut

I’m a major/ League whore

2 dollars you can have more

We sneer and we tease

We have PMS once a week

Hate us cuz were beautiful

No one likes us either

Were cheerleaders!!

We are cheerleaders!!

The Murder of St. Valentine

It is currently 12:08 AM, which just so happens to be 8 minutes into the most pointless holiday known to man. Of course, I'm talking about Valentines Day. Today we celebrate the oh so romantic public stoning to death of St. Valentine and if you are anything like me you wonder how the public stoning of a religious figure turned into a day for sweethearts to exchange cards and candy hearts. I have three theories as to how this connection was made which I will generously share with you now.

1. Valentines Day was invented, or at least promoted as a day of love, by the candy companies. It does not take a marketing genius to realize that girls like chocolate, girls are happy when boys buy them chocolate, so lets make heart shaped boxes of chocolate and little candy hearts and make Feb. 14th a day dedicated to sweethearts. This results in guys buying lots of chocolate for girls and making the candy companies enormous amounts of money. (It also explains a lot about why the majority of Americans are overweight.)
The same principle goes for florists, jewelry stores, and card companies.

2. Valentines was invented by an angry feminist group. Is it so far fetched to believe that some feminist group, angered over higher male wages, began promoting a day for men to waste their hard earned money on gifts to women in order to make up for the above wage discrepancy? I think not!

3. My final theory is that a group of men realized that if they made their girlfriends feel really special with gifts and attention on a day for lovers then their chances of getting laid exponentially increased.

Well, that’s all I have for today. I apologize in advance for any sloppy grammar as it is nearly 12:30 AM now and I am quite tired.

The Super Bowl Grades

Some thoughts on tonights game:

First off, the game itself was decent. Both teams played sloppy football but Pittsburgh made enough plays to win. The reverse pass from Randle El was key. Game: B-
My knowledge on football is limited, so I will not analyze any more of the game, but as and advertising major I will analyze the commercials. Budweiser was the clear winner as far as commercials; they usually are, so it should come as no surprise that they get my nod for best commercial of the night. If you missed it, the commercial has two friends putting their beer in the fridge and they make a hidden revolving door to hide their fridge and by default, their beer. They then cut away to the other side of the wall where four men all the sudden say, "It's the magic fridge!" and go on to steal all the beer from the fridge. They then cut to the Bud Light logo and cut back to the four guys who are bowing and worshipping the spot on the wall that had previously held the "Magic Fridge." Honorable mention goes to the Fed Ex commercial with the cavemen and the Bud Light commercial where he hid beer in the office. Commercials: A
Another topic of conversation was the halftime show. First of all, the halftime show is ridiculously long and overdone; it should take no longer than a half hour but is always longer. Second, in one of the truly great American events we bring in the Rolling Stones, a British band. Now, I’m not knocking the stones, they are rock legends, but the game was in Detroit, the home of Motown. Why not bring in a Motown artist instead of an old cracked out British band who have been around since Super Bowl I! I kept thinking something tragic was going to happen, possibly a broken hip for Mick Jagger or a heart attack for Keith Richards. Halftime: C+
All in all, I was somewhat disappointed by Super Bowl XL but it did give me a good excuse to eat a lot of food and hang out with friends. Overall Experience: B

A Sudden Stroke of Inspiration

I think it is accurate to say that most of the people reading this (yes, both of you) know that I have ambitions to be some sort of a journalist or writer once I graduate from college. Lately I have been strongly disinclined to write for the newspaper, it just is not fun. I really enjoy creative writing and unfortunately the sports page for the college newspaper does not give me an effective medium to harness my creativity. However, one night about a week ago I was lying in my bed thinking about some of the great novels I have read and it struck me. Why don't I write a novel? In theory this was a great idea but in application it is quite difficult. For about the last month I have been thinking constantly about topics to write a creative fictional story about. Naturally, there were plenty of bad ideas but most of them resembled books I had read in the past far to much. Then once again I was laying in my bed thinking about the books of great authors like Mark Twain, J.R.R. Tolkien, and J.K. Rowling when an idea finally hit me. I will not post it yet as I am still working on a detailed outline for my purposes but I assure you, as soon as I have something down on paper (or down on word processor) it will be down on here. So if anyone decides to actually read this glorious post and have feedback or advice on how to get started as a serious writer it would be very much appreciated. Until next time: Love, peace and chicken grease.
Barry